


Everything has its price

by DreamingGirl3005



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Illyrian Camps, Illyrians, Mates, Past Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:55:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23811169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingGirl3005/pseuds/DreamingGirl3005
Summary: I, Tara, have always loved to read, especially the Acotar series by Sarah J. Maas. I of course imagined a million times how it would be to live in Prythian and meet all my favorite characters. Never would I have guessed, that I'd one day actually wake up in Prythian, or that this dream I had would turn out to be a nightmare.
Relationships: Azriel (ACoTaR)/Original Character(s), Azriel (ACoTaR)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	1. Be careful what you wish for

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is my first fanfic ever and just an idea that popped into my head. It will be pretty dark to begin with but eventually have lots of fluff (and smut). I'm not sure whether I'm going to make a whole story out of this idea, so let me know what you think! Also I just want to say that I haven't read past the second book, so I'll be basing the story somewhere in the second book, after Feyre and Rhys accepted the bond but while Feyre is still in the night court.

_ I’ve always loved to lose myself in books, the different worlds, the magic and those characters who have become my best friends. I’ve also always imagined what it would be like to have a story of my own or to be part of one of theirs. My life always seemed so normal and boring, it felt like nothing exciting was ever gonna happen. Of course, I knew that, like in all those stories, great things have a great price. Should I at any point encounter the chance to have an intriguin _ _ g  _ _ story myself, I was prepared to pay this price, or, so I thought. _

I can only guess how long it has been since I woke up in the world of a book I used to love. Prythian seemed like a dream it that book, never would I have guessed it to be a nightmare. 

The first thing I remember after waking up is the feel of hands on my body, then multiple voices that appeared to be laughing. When I opened my eyes it took me a moment to understand what was going on, I saw men, wings and snow. How can someone have wings? Was I still dreaming? 

But then the fog in my mind lifted, those wings looked like bat wings, and those uniforms they wore seemed familiar. Illyrians. That was also the moment I realized what was happening to me. They were ripping of my clothes, shedding their own and touching me. I screamed and kicked my legs and tried to push them of, I should have known that it would only make it worse, that they’d be amused my attempts to fight them. 

Of course, there was no stopping them, not that time and not any other. I tried though, over and over, I tried to fight them, without success. It took me what I suppose to be a month to realize that this wasn’t some kind of bad dream, that things wouldn’t suddenly get better and that there was no one who was going to safe me. So I stopped fighting and did what they told me to, I became their plaything, never once complaining. They thought I’d given up, lost all hope, wouldn’t fight again. They were wrong.

After another month or two they became careless, and while they never left me out of sight, they left their dagger and swords lying around, and at some point the just feel asleep beside me after having their way with me. That recklessness cost them. One night a storm was raging outside and the Illyrian who was come to me that night had long been asleep. I remember taking the blade lying next to the bed, my hands should have shaken because of what I was about to do, but they weren’t, I think I was beyond that. So I held the blade over his throat and brought it down with all the strength I had. 

I don’t remember much after that, just putting on the warmest clothing I could find and then running. I think I ran all throughout the night and possibly the next day. How they didn’t find me even after weeks or so after, I can only guess. Perhaps the storm covered my tracks, or I just happen to be lucky. Every day I’m fighting to stay alive, hunting whatever little I can find. About two weeks ago I found a cave on the side of a mountain, it’s small but reaches far enough into the mountain to provide some shelter. At some point I thought about counting the days by making strokes on the wall of the cave, but what good would it really do after all this time? I’ve long accepted that this is where I’ll die, just not by the hands of an Illyrian, not after all they’ve taken from me already.

Today at first light it's time to go hunting again, since it not rarely takes all day to find anything at all. As I’m stumping through the snow I slowly near a rabbit that is sitting next to a tree. I prepare myself to throw the blade through the close by rabbit with an accuracy I spend weeks on perfecting. For just a second I let my mind wander to my life before all of this, the way I refused to eat meat for I didn’t want innocent animals to die just, so I could eat them, more so when there was plenty other food to eat. Of course that’s different now, everything is different. Killing this rabbit might very well men life or death for me now, so I throw the knife, and hit. Relieved but also a bit sad, I went to pick up the rabbit, just as movement on my left caught my eye. Black, wings, Illyrian. They found me.


	2. Never let your guard down

It felt like my heart was gonna explode. Every part of my body screamed for me to run, but that wouldn't do and I knew it, I had to think. That's when the memories come crashing in. The hands on my arms, on my chest, on and between my legs. The feeling of my clothes being ripped from my body, their laughter and my screams. I shake my head. I can't, not now. 

Taking a deep breath, I slowly hide behind a nearby tree to asses the situation. The Illyrian, there only seems to be one, is still around thirty yards away and hasn't noticed me yet. I might just make it out alive. 

Looking around I notice that, while mostly there was only snow far and wide, there was a forest about 12 yards (ca. 11 m) to my right. I can't risk running for he'd definitely hear me, so sneaking it will be, but first, I'll have to get my knife. I know that it's risky, mostly, since it's in the opposite direction of the forest, but I don't have a choice. Without that knife I'm dead and it's too much of a risk to come back later. I slowly make my way towards the knife, making sure not to make a sound. It's 10 yards, 8 yards, 5 yards, 3 yards and then I'm there. I don't dare breath for I still have to get to the forest to be able to get away quickly without being noticed. As I'm slowly and quietly walking over, I'm thinking, that the male must be either very unalert or deep in thought for not noticing me yet, not that I'm complaining. 

I've almost made it to the save covet of the trees when I hear a voice. "What are you doing this far out in the mountain? Did you get lost?" My heart stops, what should I do? Run? No, then he'd chase me and that'd be as good as a death sentence. Maybe… just maybe if I'd answer him he'd let me in peace. His voice sounded different, not cruel, almost kind. I don't dare hope but it's the only chance I have and if it doesn't work, I'll fight, till death if I have to for I'd sooner die than every go back there. "No" I clear my throat, it's been a while since I've last spoken. "No, I'm not lost. I just went out to hunt." I hold the rabbit up, hoping I sound somewhat believable. 

There's a long pause, so long that I'm rethinking my chances of running, but then "Alright. Be careful, it's not safe out here." 

I listen closely as his footsteps slowly get farther and farther away. 

As soon as he seems far enough away, I hurry towards the edge of the forest and then run. I can't believe he let me go. How am I alive? He was an Illyrian, there's no doubt about it and yet, he let me go. After what feels like hours I allow myself to stop running for a moment. I'm utterly exhausted and I'm still shaking because of my earlier encounter with the Illyrian. As I take a second to look around I notice that I'm at the end the forest and that it's slowly starting to get dark. Around a hundred yards to the north-east though, there is what looks to be a cave, at least I hope so. After running into that male so close to my old cave, I couldn't risk going back, and with it slowly getting dark, I better find shelter quickly.

For the first time in months luck appears to be on my site, for what I thought to be a cave actually turned out to be one. As soon as I made sure the cave and surrounding seemed safe I immediately started a fire and prepared the rabbit that was unfortunately half frozen by now, but still salvageable. After cooking, eating and once again making sure my surrounding is safe, I finally let myself rest.

_ I'm screaming. "Stop! Please don't! No! Please!" They don't stop. "How ungrateful you're behaving, and that after we've saved your miserable life." One of the males said while the others laughed. I try to kick and push them away, but they pin my legs and arms to the ground. They make quick work of tearing my clothes apart until I’m completely naked. Then their hands go to my breasts and between my legs. Knowing it’s pointless, I still can’t help screaming and crying. I feel so violated and ashamed. I’d give everything for this nightmare to be over. _

I jolt awake. A nightmare, it was all a nightmare. No, not a nightmare, but memories. During the day I can mostly hold them at bay but at night those memories hunt me, how could they not. I want to stay awake, for I know the memories will come back if I sleep again, but I can’t. Tomorrow I’ll have to hunt again and more importantly, travel farther down the mountain. I can’t risk for them to find me again, cause even though I might have gotten away this time, I know that I probably won’t be that lucky again. So I close my eyes and let exhaustion lull me to sleep, knowing the memories are already waiting to torture me again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope you like this new chapter! For my second chapter, I think this turned out pretty ok, but I'm always here for tips and advices! Let me know if you like the story. I'll try to post more soon. <3


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